cleaning this place is a full time job. i cannot put in that amount of work.
my mom was here yesterday and together we got a bunch of stuff done, then i went to class and she hung out with thalia. when i left i had everything off the floor, and vacuumed. when i got home, not even 12 hours later, it was back to what it was before. i know for a fact that it was tidy because i did it. i have witnesses. i simply don’t have the time.
i have about 18 seconds before thalia makes her way over her and asks “boob-boob mama?” she was watching her favourite dog show but just climbed of the couch and is headed over here.
i have two weeks of class left for anatomy and one week of class left for my other classes. i got my anatomy homework in, i talked to my prof about my big paper, i made a plan and i started to work on the ethics stuff for the paper. i need to write one last paper for next week. its a super short one, but involves me reading some shit first. need to budget time for that. then we jump straight into exams!
yesterday i knocked a bunch of things off my to do list and kept moving all day long. Wednesdays are my longest days. i have this cough still leftover from like a month ago, and my mom said “are you sick again?” i said “no its the same cough. i dont slow down enough to get better”.
so today feels like it needs to be slow. its grey and rainy. it snowed last night but it didn’t stay until the morning. meeting a friend for coffee for an hour soon. making plans to go to the science centre on the weekend. considering looking for more professional help with what the fuck we do with blaze – her tantrums and fights are getting more and more intense and everybody is suffering. the other day when i picked them up from school, she crawled on all fours across the school yard screaming, refusing to get up and walk. it was about mittens. shes smacking people now – screaming, threatening, trying her hand at experimenting with blackmail, (she told jim the other day that if he didn’t make her exactly what she wanted for dinner she would leave this family. jims like ‘yeah okay. good try. now eat your cucumbers please.’) and then walloping anyone who is nearby. im going to talk to sondra first, she was a family counselor for 10 years. she will come with her own biases becasue she knows us – but she may also be able to offer something different for exactly the same reason. jim and i talked about signing her up fro kids meditation classes as she actually cannot calm down. she gets so worked up and then she cries and yells about how shes trying to do big breaths and calm herself down but she just can’t.
theres a childrens yoga/meditation practice at the zen Buddhist temple. i went there a few years ago for a meditation class.