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November 24, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 11:24 am

cleaning this place is a full time job. i cannot put in that amount of work.

my mom was here yesterday and together we got a bunch of stuff done, then i went to class and she hung out with thalia. when i left i had everything off the floor, and vacuumed. when i got home, not even 12 hours later, it was back to what it was before. i know for a fact that it was tidy because i did it. i have witnesses. i simply don’t have the time.

i have about 18 seconds before thalia makes her way over her and asks “boob-boob mama?” she was watching her favourite dog show but just climbed of the couch and is headed over here.

i have two weeks of class left for anatomy and one week of class left for my other classes. i got my anatomy homework in, i talked to my prof about my big paper, i made a plan and i started to work on the ethics stuff for the paper. i need to write one last paper for next week. its a super short one, but involves me reading some shit first. need to budget time for that. then we jump straight into exams!

yesterday i knocked a bunch of things off my to do list and kept moving all day long. Wednesdays are my longest days. i have this cough still leftover from like a month ago, and my mom said “are you sick again?” i said “no its the same cough. i dont slow down enough to get better”.

so today feels like it needs to be slow. its grey and rainy. it snowed last night but it didn’t stay until the morning. meeting a friend for coffee for an hour soon. making plans to go to the science centre on the weekend. considering looking for more professional help with what the fuck we do with blaze – her tantrums and fights are getting more and more intense and everybody is suffering. the other day when i picked them up from school, she crawled on all fours across the school yard screaming, refusing to get up and walk. it was about mittens. shes smacking people now – screaming, threatening, trying her hand at experimenting with blackmail, (she told jim the other day that if he didn’t make her exactly what she wanted for dinner she would leave this family. jims like ‘yeah okay. good try. now eat your cucumbers please.’) and then walloping anyone who is nearby.  im going to talk to sondra first, she was a family counselor for 10 years. she will come with her own biases becasue she knows us – but she may also be able to offer something different for exactly the same reason.  jim and i talked about signing her up fro kids meditation classes as she actually cannot calm down. she gets so worked up and then she cries and yells about how shes trying to do big breaths and calm herself down but she just can’t.

theres a childrens yoga/meditation practice at the zen Buddhist temple. i went there a few years ago for a meditation class.


November 9, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 11:53 pm

i. will.crash. soon.

i can see it coming. i wonder what the tipping point will be.


back on track November 6, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 9:07 am

spent a few days not paying attention to school work. we went to the agricultural fair all day yesterday, i spent friday in class but pulling the age old ‘fake it til you make it’ technique because i had not read a single thing because i spent the whole week writing that paper. nodding in all the right places when someone said something significant and making noises like “hmmm…. ” like i was considering some deep thought from the readings i had not read worked out beautifully.

today will be spent noodling around at home, cleaning. cleaning, cleaning cleaing. CLEANING. this place is an absoulte disaster. important things are cat litter, guinea pigs, wash diapers and laundry.

before wed:
look at anatomy slides
anatomy textbook readings
read papers for CARL and look at slides

before friday:
read all WAD papers
make sure our presentation outline makes it in on time

i got out the potty on a whim and sat Thalia on it. she pooed on the potty so i was excited and a bit proud. then later she pooed on the floor so i was humbled and put right back in my place again.