i am enrolled in two out of hte three courses I need to have. the last one is full apparently, evne though i NEED to take it, right now, and so does a bunch of other part-time students. we are all asking each other, what is going on? is it a glitch? how do i get in? why is the system built to be harder for us than fro full-time students? somebody said ‘starting to think that i can’t hack it in the program if i can’t even figure out how to enroll” and i kinda think they are doing it on purpose. like its a test. its really getting silly actually, only one thing – ONE THING – about this process has been straightforwards and streamlined. everything else has been a mess. the one thing that was easy was applying for a student card.i used a photo from our wedding day. its old, but every time i see it i will secretly know that its a photo taken on a special day, with two really important people standing on either side of me.
we all cleaned all morning yesterday. we got the girls involved, i handled the bedrooms and bathroom and jim dealt with the catastrophe that was the living room and kitchen. Then we went out for the afternoon to the pioneer village and then came home and jims dad visited for a bit, and then we ate dinner and went to bed. and i swear that the magical fucks shit up fairy came in the night. IT LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME. i don’t understand how this happens. the place is a disaster all over again. the apartment is small and it gets out of hand wicked fast. you cannot take your eyes off the ball for ONE SECOND. i seriously get up in the morning, look around me, and think about what i need to clean today. cleaning runs my life.
dealing with the course enrollment took all morning to sort out. in the end i fired off an email to the one person who is most likely to be able to help me, and left it at that. then i got thalia down for a nap, ate some breakfast at 11:30 and now im waiting for jim to get home so that i can go re-apply for a replacement drivers license, since thalia hid mine somewhere so well that nobody is able to find it. Blaze is going to the dentists today so she is home, then after the dentist we are going out to get ice cream to celebrate Blaze going to the dentist, and to bribe her into going again next time. somehow the kid has developed about 9 cavities. cordelia, meanwhile, has perfect teeth. i don’t understand how that happens either – dentist asked me ‘do you guys have juice at home? does she eat a lot of candy?” nope and nope. they eat the same food, brush their teeth and the same time each day, and yet, blazes mouth is riddled with holes and cordelia is fine. i asked the dentist and she said that at this point, you can blame genetics. jim had awesome teeth and still does, i was prone to cavities. poor kid got my bad teeth gene i guess.
its going to be approx $3,500 of dentist bills. we don’t have any insurance right now because jim doesn’t get any coverage for being a part-time employee, so thats coming directly out of savings. ouch. thankfully we can take that hit and its not too bad at all. but then my tuition goes in on top of that as well, and its eating into the “buy a house”fund.
one of jims students has been struggling. really, really struggling. he keeps not showing up and then emailing jim later. he has talked about depression and anxiety, and how he can’t handle being in that room basically, and how he is so freaked out that he can’t absorb the materials or focus on the classes. jim has been trying to help him and he has been as sympathetic as possible, and he said “i know this, because my wife has been dealing with anxiety and depression for over 10 years” and so it turned into me emailing the student and reaching out to him. he seems sweet and sincere, and is just in a big mess right now and trying hard to get out of it. i know he just barely made it through the course, and only because jim fudged it a bit to squeeze him through with a pass. i don’t know how i can help him other than to say ‘yeah man, i hear you. its really hard. talk to me if you need.” teaching isn’t just standing there talking at a room and writing math on the whiteboard. he develops these relationships with his students, and it makes them respect and love him even more. he puts in the effort for them and they in turn put in the effort to the class.
we just hit that fifth anniversary. we were at my moms place, and she came over and gave me a hug and said ‘happy anniversary!” and i said “oh, is that today? i haven’t looked at a calendar for a few days.” jim looked a bit sheepish, and we chuckled and admitted that we both forgot. he said that he had remembered about a month ago and made some tentative plans in his head to do something, but in the end it would have blown us both right by if other people hadnt spoken up. (jims mom texted us too). i guess thats life with three kids for you. and blazes birthday is 7 days after we were married, so it mostly goes unnoticed and bows out of the way for her birthday anyway, which i feel is as it should be.
five years feels significant, solid. like we really accomplished something. the traditional present for a fifth anniversary is wood. i wonder what that would have been 150 years ago? and what would that would be now? a new cutting board? i like next years better – traditionally for year six, you get candy.