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my head is back in the game March 12, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 10:55 am

they want to meet me in person. i am in the cream of the crop group, the 70 who gets to interview.

my friend who was rejected shared her letter publicly. poor soul, i can see why she was rejected and why i was accepted. her letter is full of her own glaring biases and a very romanticized ideal of what midwifery is. she has a couple paragraphs where she makes out OBs to be the enemy. i have a paragraph in mine where i wrote basically, “i don’t subscribe to the us vs them thing. OBs are not the enemy. Hospitals are not the enemy. midwives and OBs need to work together.” to the question “what do you hope to contribute” i spoke concretely about my ASL and wanting to work with deaf parents and working with the LGBTQ community and that midwives need to start to change the way they work to accommodate that there are people who identify as men who are having babies, and that babies come from all sorts of senarios – in vitro, surrogacy, teen moms, single parents, and babies who will be surrendered to CAS. her response was  wishy-washy, along the lines of ‘i love women and i want to help them have natural births”.  to answer the question “what will you do to deal with the demands of the program” i had some real plans laid out. she had no idea. she didn’t really answer the question.

in general, her letter is just not as strong as mine was. it always bothers me a bit when i realize that there IS a divide between me and others. i don’t like that feeling at all. but there is one, isn’t there? my friend is very young, and it shows in her letter. she needs to pick up some more life experience yet.


this other day March 11, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 11:50 am

theres a facebook group for midwifery applicants and hopefuls. it exploded this morning – rejection notices had been sent out electronically.

i don’t have one.

i don’t have a rejection notice. BUT i also don’t have anything yet. still waiting for an invitation to either a) an interview or b) a waitlist for the interviews.

lets break it down – theres about 200-300 people applying every year for approx 30 spots. so you have about 10%  of making it. many people have applied multiple times. i know someone who applied twice. i know someone who applied five times.

of the people who apply, im sure a handful are struck out right away for not having the grades, not getting the full application in on time, or not having a crucial bit of info. 2-3 weeks ago we got a notice saying our application had moved onto the next stage, where they read your letter. i assume MOST applicants get through that first stage, but theres got to be a dozen or so that don’t meet the basic specifications.

if they like your letter and you followed the letter format correctly, and they like you a whole bunch, you are offered one of about 70-75 spots in an interview. half of those interviewed get to continue on to get a space. once you get past that hurdle, thats a 50/50 chance. that looks a heck of a lot better. i might be in that group now, but i wont know it until later today.

one of my friends just found out she was rejected. i am so sorry. how did i not get rejected but you did? how do 75 people not get rejected and the other 200 do? how can i celebrate it on facebook when everyone around me is heartbroken. i’m sorry.

if i get in, it will be in my head all the time – they chose you for this. they wanted you to be here. they wanted to train you. you are supposed to be here. you are not a poser, or faking it, the universe will not suddenly realize it made a mistake and remove you from the program. you are here because you are good enough to be here. 



this day March 8, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 1:00 pm

thalia woke me up 4699157 times in the night. apparently jim was thinking of sleeping in the bed last night, but when he went to bed he got about halfway down the hallway and he could hear her being awake and whining so he headed back to to couch. i dont know why she is waking up so much recently, but this is day three of her doing this.

woke up before 7:30 with cordelias face 6 inches from mine, asking for cereal. while i am always slightly tired, i haven’t been this tired in a while. it took a whole lot of effort to get up today.  make some plans for dinner and put out chickpeas to soak. retrieve cordelias coat/snow pants from dryer. she fell in the mud yesterday on the walk home.

get the girls ready for school while simultaneously getting a little bit of tidying up and laundry done. get the guinea pigs out and get the girls to feed them. have an argument with blaze (its the same, every morning, no matter what,) about if she could wear a ball gown to school when she needs to wear her snow pants. i have no issues with her wearing her giant poofy dresses to school. but she HATES her snow pants on top of her dresses and its still snow pant weather, so no dresses yet. yesterday she wore a skirt and refused to put her snow pants on properly. she needed to spite me by putting the straps of her snow pants over her coat sleeves in such a way that made her arms useless, and then not do up her coat. fine. whatever you want kid, just get your teeny ass out the door so we can damn well walk to school on time. think that i might shower today.

come home from dropping girls off. put on laundry. hang out with thalia while putting away last of clean laundry. or that was the plan. thalia cries before laundry is done.

get some super fast breakfast so i can sit and eat while nursing her and she goes to sleep. sneak away to do biology. just get started on bio (DNA replication) look at clock, fear the wrath of asshole neighbour and go turn over laundry. hunker down and focus on bio for about an hour since the stress of the laundry wrath has been removed. think about maybe showering today. its hard to justify taking time to shower when theres only a finite amount of time that i can be studying.

thalia is up. more nursing. she hangs out on the bed while i clean out the guinea pigs, sweep the bedroom, pick up the laundry in the bathroom and make some efforts to find the girls floor. go turn over laundry. shake out the guinea pigs laundry and get that started. prepare my half of the argument in my head in case i meet asshole neighbour along the way and he has something not nice to say.

go get the mail. put Lucy’s birthday into our calendar. answer some emails, make note to speak to jim about me going to the farmers market for henna this summer. confirm plans with jenny for dinner tomorrow. clean out cat litter, take out garbage. track down and bag all the recycling. plan a time later in the day where i might be able to shower. wonder if that time will be tomorrow.

thalia cries. give her some crackers in the high chair. stack dishwasher and turn it on. thalia having none of it. needs to cuddle me and nurse.

put her on the floor with her current favourite toys (aka, a red pen and an empty vitamin container) and sit down for a bit and seriously feel like a total lazy sloth who  hasn’t done enough yet today. realize that the chances of showering are getting slimmer and slimmer.

fish a teeny toy out of thalias mouth. its the skit to a polly pocket doll.

wonder if i have time to nap with her in the afternoon. there is so much laundry.