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February 26, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 11:17 am

the laundry is on and i should go check it soon. i won’t have a lot of time to sit still before thalia looses interest in her rubber fish that shes currently chewing on. its making great squeaking noises. its setting off the guinea pigs.

i’ll see how far i can get.

we are home, its back to normal, its even mostly clean and tidy in here. its bright and sunny. i cleaned out the piggies and they are in their playpen thing and are devouring a handful of dill and pea shoots and they are chatting to themselves. my application got past the first stage and i got a email saying it was selected to move on to stage 2. stage 2 is the hardest and if i get through this part i get to interview. i am eating the rest of the pea shoots, but they are a little old so they have gone slightly bitter and starchy.

the other day jim put thalia in her high chair and then pushed her over to the living room so she could still see him. shes gotten to that stage that i had forgotten about – when they scream like they are left to die whenever you walk out of view. he was talking to me about something and then we heard some thumps and crashes and looked over – she was leaning over in the high chair and pulling books off the shelf to watch them hit the floor and then happy-screeching about it.

i red a book to all three girls last night at bed time. well i read it to two of them while the third kept trying to eat the book.  ‘little miss helpful’. the story is that miss helpful isn’t really helpful at all, and by trying to help people she makes more trouble and makes problems bigger. it really bothers cordelia that she is called ‘miss helpful’. cordelia really needs things to go a certain way and be predictable and make sense. “why is she called helpful if she never helped ANYBODY? this book is SO DUMB”.

when we took the girls to mini golf (fuck how i hate mini golf) in florida, it was going okay for a while until blaze decided to just do her own thing and make up her own rules, break from convention. Cordelia cannot tolerate this. “blaze! you need to FOLLOW THE RULES!” she is a stickler for things going the way they are supposed too. neat and orderly. and if it doesnt? it causes much, much anxiety and tears.

thalia decided to stay up last night. i was trying to get her to sleep and she was having none of it. then jim came into the room and she perked right up. chatting, happy-screeching and raspberries all over the place. she loves to grab his face and hair and pull him in close to her. she would make a funny noise, we would copy her and then she giggled. this lasted a long time. so much for an early night, but she is the best.

the girls have been asking for ‘history stories’ at bedtime. jim picks a random event from the past and explains it to them. the other day we had a conversation about slavery. last night jim told them a story about alexander the great. and this morning, while we were discussing the contents of their lunch boxes, blaze jumped off her chair and said “mama, can i have more healthy food when i get home from school? its delicious!” and threw her arms up in the air. we are doing something right i guess.

nap time for this baby. and laundry time for me.



packing February 12, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 6:00 pm


a0 we are flying out tomorrow morning, meaning that we have to get up at ridiculous-o’clock in the morning to get there on time. this means that everything that needs to be done needs to be done today. all the clenaing, packing, laundry, organizing the pets and setting out food and instructions. wash the diapers, make snacks, do all the dishes. find the phone charger. etc…

it also happens to be a fucking PD day. yeah that’s right, its me at home trying to power through a million mile long list of shit to get accomplished (i never finished my bio) and theres these children underfoot who need 68 snacks and are undoing all the stuff i am putting away right behind me. i cleaned up the living room. then they trashed it with toys and colouring. i sent them to go tidy up their room. then cordelia got our the playmobils.

jim is home after 5. the good thing about flying in the morning is a) seeing a sunrise from a plane, always a magnificent treat, and b) we can tidy things up after they go to bed and they can’t fuck it up again.

i’ve knocked all the big things off the list. the last bits are jsut short little tasks that we can finish up in an hour or so of teamwork.

i can’t believe i applied to midwifery. i really don’t expect to be offered a spot, and i kinda forget that i even applied so it hits me every now and again and i realize “oh damn, that’s right,  i did that.” what if i get in? then what?

Keys go to Kate
Finish last unit of bio
set up everything for workshop, leave out the workbooks for sondra
Sweep all rooms
move GPs cage and clean playpen
Set up cat food/GP hay
fish filter and fish feeder TURNED ON.
organize knitting for plane
put away last of laundry
dry/put away diapers
take all garbage’s out


i’m going to track down my workshop powerpoint and make sure its good to go for next saturday.


February 9, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 12:28 pm

we are going to florida at the end of the week. too bad i can’t bring my wheel i’m a little bit addicted.

Bio is into population dynamics right now. well thats fine, lynx eat hares and then the hare population goes down and so then the lynx population goes down, then the hare population comes up….. yeah got it. i included a teeny bit of “its really actually a bit more complicated that this you guys” sass in my answers. i want to get this shit done and over with before we leave this week. i will know if i get an interview for the program in a few weeks time and i want to get bio done before that or else i’ll have zero motivation to finish the course. i actually have zero motivation now.

bio has turned into math, somehow. its really annoying becuase the math is simple. i understand the concept and its straight forward. some caribou had some babies and others died. calculate how many there are now. but the way its being taught to me is whats throwing me. im reading it off a screen by myself. thats the WORST way for me to grasp something. i need to see it done in front of me. generally, hank from the youtube crash courses has been doing the ‘doing it in front of me with brightly coloured visuals’ part but hank doesn’t cover this in his bio videos.

lots of things to get finished before we go.

baby is up.




February 8, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 5:14 pm

the wheel eats time. jut eats it right up in a single swallow without so much as a little burp. i love the quiet sort of meditative state that i get into. the process of just making  things is soothing.

i have moved the guinea pig cage to the living room. i wanted to set it up so that they could have their cage and their playpen thing (the two are designed to click into each other) and expand their space a bit. the eventual plan was that they would always come live in the living room, once the cats had had the novelty wear off and could be be trusted to keep a respectful distance. i have no issues two of them, but Twig still needs to earn a bit more trust before I will totally take my eye off her. these days though she is mostly concerned with sleeping on the radiators.

the trouble with having them in the living room is that they take up more space. well duh.

i want to get the cedar chest into my bedroom. its just a teeny bit bigger than the guinea pig cage so it will take up the same amount of space in the bedroom and free up floor space in the living room. really what we need to do is a) throw out a lot of things or b) move to a bigger place. there are five of us living here now and its getting cramped. i know that families of five can live in small places with no problems, and we could definitely do it comfortably if we gave up a lot of things. but i don’t want to give up those things. a lot of those things aren’t even mine to give up.

im looking around me and i’m not sure what we would ditch. maybe the fish tank? i have had ideas about ditching the fish tank before, but its a huge fucking amount of work to get rid of it, more than its worth i think. plus we use the shelves in it right now, so if we got rid of the fish tank then we would probably get something to replace those shelves anyway so its not earning us any extra space.

if i get into ryerson we will be renting in the city for a bit longer and will find a bigger place. if i don’t, we may look to get a house. either way, a move is coming up.

the guinea pigs being in the living room also means that they actually get less room to play, because now the cage is taking up some of their space. and then the sides of the playpen block the girls toys. i don’t think this is going to be the solution. i think moving might be the solution. its part the point where doing a little purge here and there is going to solve the problem.


wheel February 5, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 10:52 am

online tracking is my new favourite thing. online tracking told me that my wheel had arrived at my neighbourhood post office at 4am two nights ago. online tracking told me that it was out for delivery yesterday morning. i really tried not to hover near the window. i am a bit pathetic i think. i didn’t realize i was this pathetic.

so when we got the regular mail, just two envelopes and one of those little slips that says “you were not available, your package will need to be picked up tomorrow after 1pm” i was really ticked off. I WAS HOME THE WHOLE DAY DAMN YOU. WHERE IS MY WHEEL I WAS PROMISED?!

i examined it closer – the slip was saying i needed to pick it up because i had to pay taxes/customs etc. okay fine. but i’m still ticked off. online tracking didnt tell me that i needed to pay a little bit extra for them to release it to me.

when i picked the girls up from school i told them about it. i told them that was i waiting a long time and that i was sad that it didn’t come today. Blaze, who has been waiting weeks for a toy to come in the mail looked at me with a straight face full of much 4-year old wisdom and said “i know mama. my CP30 (she gets it wrong every time) doll is taking a long time too and that makes me sad. but you just have to wait just a little bit longer!” we talked about how Blaze will have her toy on saturday and counted how many more days it was that she would have to wait.

online tracking told me that the package had been returned to my neighbourhood post office and was available to pick up. hmm. its going to be rather large. i am supposed to wait until 1pm to pick it up, but the online tracking says its there now. i dont have the car because jim is teaching a class at humber this morning. maybe i’ll just go and ask them. probably they won’t release it to me until the specified time. but still, i can go and check. i can come back with the car after 1 at least.

yeah right. i tried to talk myself down from what i knew i was about to attempt to do. drag that sucker home.

dropped the girls off at school. i had thalia in the carrier on my front and I had the package slip in the carriers pocket. i was just going to go ask. the post office is just at the corner and by the time i get the girls to school i’m about halfway to the post office already…. just gonna go ask.

it was there. the post office lady was happy to release it to me with a quick glace at my ID. though she was a bit skeptical that i was going to carry it home with a baby. “are you driving?” i gave her a bright smile and said “its not too heavy” i stood up straight and tossed my shoulders back like i’m a big strong, liberated woman! I can carry it! i’m a feminist i solve my own problems!

thalia weighs 18 pounds. the wheel, i happen to know, is solid hardwood and is about 26 pounds. it is not a long walk. the box is large and awkward and it has no handles. yes I did carry it home. you can roll your eyes now, but I know that Blaze would have done the same thing.



maps February 3, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 4:01 pm

Thalia had a long nap and I just about lost my mind with boredom. what could i clean! could I put away more laundry? do i feel like scrubbing the tub again? how about cleaning out behind and under the couch, though i just did that yesterday…. how about mopping the floor! so many delightful things to do!


jim was home for about 20 minutes to grab a fast lunch and then head down to ryerson. i asked him “i need to do something from home that isn’t cleaning.” he said “well there’s a lot of things you like doing. so find one that’ll work for that.” as a bonus, if it made some money on the side i would feel pretty satisfied. yes i know that being a mother is ‘enough’ and that staying at home and being available for my kids and taking care of them and by being at home enabling my partner to work is supposed to be fulfilling me nicely. but its not really, actually. it feels slovenly, boring and it gets really, really dull. i also feel like i’m not contributing anything that can be measured concretely – especially because all the cleaning i do every dy is fucked every time they all come home.

we hit on the idea of painting more for strike. strike needs maps. jim has been playing online with people in other places in the world who are willing playtesters to work out the kinks in each new mini-adventure/expansion. and he is in need of maps that are created specifically for the setups.

right. im on it.

i want jim to write a game about being bees or ants or termites. the world from an insect perspective (though probably a very much personified one) a roleplaying game about the dynamics of a hive or nest. you could fight off invaders, run away from rain, have half your buddies killed by a bird, prepare for winter, sting things, drag home bits of crumbs…


still fever February 2, 2016

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 3:04 pm

same fever. man this is going on for a long time. thankfully it seems to be on the way out now and is much less dramatic as it was before.

she is feeling a whole lot better. not 100% yet, but much improved. i can tell because a) she was interested in eating solid foods today, whereas in the past few days if i were to sit her in the highchair, which is not a part of my body, she will cry. its not about the high chair its about the removal from the mother that causes this. b) she napped at her regular time, as apposed to napping all the time. c) she smiled at us.

wheel isn’t here yet. maybe its a sign i should power through the last 2 units of biology that are left. Every time I hear some sort of large truck go by outside i sit up straight to look out the window. is it the Canada Post truck?!

today: girls to school on time, cleaned up the kitchen, put away all the laundry, did two hours of bio, ate some real food at appropriate food-eating times (so, you know, not like eating breakfast around 1pm) did a half-assed tidy up of the girls room. this is the room that is the most pointless to clean. so mostly i have stopped bothering.

aaand really i have nothing to say. and thalias awake and shes whimpering now anyway.