powered through bio, got to the end of photosynthesis and finished the “homework” component. i have one section to go before unit 2 is finished, i am closer than i thought. i still need to go back and finish cellular respiration though. if it takes as much effort and focus as photosynthesis then i do not care to go back and do it right now. the only reason i understood photosynthesis was becasue jim took like two hours out of his evening to teach it to me, and i watched a dozen youtube videos over and over again. so much energy! please, would someone explain to my why i need to understand photosynthesis to apply to be a midwife? this is a bit dumb.
i WISH that by putting a million hours into this damn course that i could improve my chances of getting in, but its not true. all im doing is getting a good mark so that i can even apply. if i was increasing my chances i would be able to stomach all this effort much better.
at least im good at working on my own like this.
sick babies are so cuddly. they are like snotty hot water bottles set at a constant temperature of 101 F. thalia smells sour – i can smell the sickness and the fever on her, like i can my other girls. last night she stayed up with us while we finished the last 40 minutes of the movie we started like a week ago. she fell asleep eventually, lying spread out on the couch. i cupped my hands around her burning hot head and stroked my fingers through her rabbit-soft hair and she slowly, gently, closed her eyes and melted clean away.
i am so tired today. probably thats why bio was so rough to get through. we woke up at night way too much. jim slept on the couch so at least one of us could get a good nights sleep. my alarm went off at 7:30 and i made sure the girls were up and eating breakfast. then i thought “i’ll just get up in like 10 minutes…. i can stay here for 10 minutes…” then i looked at my phone and it was 8:10. miraculously, we made it to school on time.
i let her fever just run its course overnight and today she is much better. still sicky, but more cheerful. yesterday she was quiet and sad, today she is chatty and smiling. not 100% back to her normal self, but much improved.
yesterday when jim left in the morning, he went down the back steps then come back up again. “ky? theres a very sick raccoon out here, can you call animal control?” i came to look. there was indeed a very sick raccoon. walking in circles, head to the ground at a funny angle, skinny, dirty, tripping and falling to his right side often. his bum was damp where he kept falling to the side.
jim walked right up to him and raccoon didnt even look up or acknowledge him or show any sign that he knew that jim was right there. we kept the cats in and called torontos animal services. apparently rabies and distemper have been on the rise this year for raccoons. raccoon got himself into the garage and then, because he was going in circles, couldnt really get out again. the truck came and picked him up. its a one-way trip to a stainless steel table and an incinerator i expect. nobody is going to do anything about rabies/distemper/brain parasite/poisoning or whatever the fuck was wrong with him other than to put him down. he was dead already – whether he starved, got hit by a car, attacked by a dog or injected on a stainless steel table, he was already dead. the stainless steel table method at least removes the prospect of the dog attack – then the dog gets rabies or wherever and the cycle continues.
when i went to bed last night i saw two raccoons on the deck. big, fat, rolly-polly healthy ones. they are ballsy and they come right up to peer through the window at us. such a big contrast between them and sick raccoon with the messed up brain that we saw in the morning. these fatties could hardly pull themselves up the railing and up to the roof. maybe that sick one was a sibling of theirs.