springtwist

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the dreadlocks made me do it November 25, 2015

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 8:47 pm

the dreadlocks are applying to midwifery.

i feel totally split on this – i actually feel like i am two people with two different, equally important views on this. both of them are vying to get ahead. there’s me, who says ‘this is a scary idea. i cannot be a midwife, i could not handle the constant workload. i can’t even get the laundry done most days, how am i supposed to get through what is essentially med school? much less make a career out of it? when i get depressed i cant even feed myself properly. i need to be medicated to get through regular life. how can i be responsible for other peoples lives?”

then there’s the other part that says “fuck yeah. we can do this. we need to do this.” i think that’s my dreadlocks.

my dreadlocks, who have yelled at high school boys for tangling up the swings in the park. my dreadlocks that wanted to tell a guy off when i saw him take a picture of a little person from behind on his phone. dude, its not a zoo, you can’t just photograph a woman from behind to show your buddies later because she looks different from you. if he hadn’t crossed the street before i realized what he had just done, i think my dreadlocks would have called him out and confronted him about it, loudly.

my dreadlocks make me march up to strangers and ask for directions, or help, or start up conversations, or whatever. they surprise me sometimes.

and now, they are applying for midwifery. good god.

i didn’t do grade 12 bio and i need it to apply. (i did a couple similar university courses but not close enough to cover for bio) so i found an online course that’s equivalent to grade 12 and now i have to do grade 12 bio fast. as in, i ned to be at least halfway through the course by mid-jan. finding the time to focus on this is really hard. i got an hour in this morning while thalia napped, but while shes awake its hopeless. all i did today is turn on the dishwasher at like 7:30 in the morning, clean the cat litter and do an hour of biology work. that’s it. that was my free time today. no laundry, no cleaning the bathroom, no sweeping the crap off the floor. biology is going to take a huge chunk of my free time – because i hardly have any to begin with. but really, if i am going to be a midwife, having grade 12 bio would be really beneficial. and i should probably do chemistry as well because thats where i would suffer more.

somehow i’ve got it in my head that i am making dolls for the girls. like serious, proper, handmade, takes dozens of hours cloth dolls. they are gorgeous. i am making them because i want to, and as an added benefit the girls can have them afterwards. it’ll probably be their christmas presents. they are called waldorf dolls. google them. even better, pinterest or etsy search for them. they are exquisite, handcrafted works of art. i’ll have to make them after biology class. in the free time i don’t have.

speaking of not having free time and having more than enough chores to do already, we are getting guinea pigs. the girls have been saving their money for months and months. we now have a cage and tonight i took the girls out to pick up hay, feed, bedding. i’m going to talk to some people at the farmers market about buying hay from them instead of paying a stupid amount of money for a tiny bag of hay, but this will get us started at least. the humane society is our next stop on Saturday. i know how this goes – kids ask for a  pet, and 3 weeks later the novelty has worn off. i know that its largely going to fall on me to care for these piggies. thats fine.

i visited kijiji looking for guinea pigs, and oh man was it ever depressing. the worst post is one woman who took in two guinea pigs and now has 3448734023 guinea pigs. she is just letting them breed and do their thing and she is overrun with them. apparently she loves them but she cannot afford to feed them so she’s selling some of them to pay to feed the others. considering guinea pigs can get pregnant at 4 weeks old, and can breed again within 12 hours of giving birth, i expect her colony is really out of control. guinea pigs are shitty at having babies – most females just die from one complication or another. the mortality rate is shockingly high actually – something like 1 in 5 preggo pigs die. i just imagine this woman having little bodies everywhere. if they are breeding without restriction, then all her females will be pregnant really young, all the time, and will be totally worn out and die early. she must have a whole room devoted to them. maybe a barn.

okay, turns out the children don’t just go to bed by themselves if you ignore them and just hope they will go to bed. gotta get this bedtime train going in the right direction.

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