springtwist

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August 12, 2015

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 2:29 pm

If someone else would just hold the baby for a little bit, Iwould love to:

Go buy new underwear
Go through all my clothes and sort and purge
Get new clothes
FInish my cedar chest
Finish my sewing projects
Bake something

When Ido have a free moment, i need to use it to clean something. My life right now is long stretches of baby care mixed with super fast, very short periods of desperately trying to keep up with all the chores. I ddon’thave the time to do any sort of self-care, i can daydream about such luxuries as having the free time to buy new underwear. In reality I barely have the time to unload the dishwasher.

There’sa trap here. Feeling like my needs are not important. Living with the delusion that everybody else is more deserving and I should meekly live on the black burner in order to enable everyone else to get the attention and care they need. I can’t go buy new underwear because its more important that jim gets to his classes on time and Ihold the household down so he can get his work done.I am protecting everyone else’s priorities and making sure the people around me are keeping up and doing well. Nobody is making sure Iam being taken care of.

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