some days i get literally nothing done.
today has been different – we had a bit of a rough night sleeping, thalia spent a lot of time wriggling and whining and farting. i am tired but im getting through it. i FINALLY, finally got to the damn post office and mailed those damn breasts and uterus and placenta kit. i included a jar of balm as a gift to say “sorry this took me FOREVER”.
ran the dishwasher, changed the cat litter, washed three loads of laundry, put away one load so far, and made everyone lunch. at lunch time, even. (its one thing to feed them enough food to live on. its another to feed them at a reasonable time). thalia is having her big afternoon nap right now. i would like to get to my sewing machine but i dont have thread. still – thats a lot of successes so far today.
outside, i almost want to say its chilly. this means that its not over 30 degrees as it has been consistently for the past two weeks. it feels like fall outside but its probably still over 20 degrees. thalia got a bit of a chill when i left her naked on the bed under the fan for a few moments to bring down more laundry. her hands and feet were cold and she was calling for someone to come pick her up when i got back. the idea of it being cool enough in a few months to dress her in those full body one-piece pajamas with the feet? glorious. so snuggly.
she smiles in her sleep and occasionally she laughs. its a calm, quiet little chuckle. she can’t laugh when shes awake yet, her brain seems to still be working on that one, but in her sleep sometimes she does it. i remember blaze in particular going through this stage for a couple weeks where she made all the motions of laughing – mouth open, eyes bright, engaging socially with an adult who she was reacting to – but there was no noise. it just took a little bit longer to work out how to laugh. and she laughed awkwardly for a while, like a young rooster clumsily learning to crow and testing it out and polishing his noise for a little while before she got it right and it sounded like a real laugh.
i wonder if she ever gets itchy somewhere on her body and can’t scratch it. babies this new can’t process being tickled. im not even sure they can feel tickling as tickling, so im not sure they can feel itchy as ‘itchy’ yet. my neighbours baby is six months and just within the past month or two could respond to being tickled by laughing. before that, she would respond by looking alarmed and confused. humans are born with only a 1/4 of their full brain size. theres a heck of a lot more growing to be done before all the sensations come in and are fine-tuned. for instance, a babies ears don’t work in unison for a while. they hear a weird little echo all the time, like hearing two speakers that are just a fraction of a second off from each other. and the thinking is, right now, that they are born not being able to see colour. I’ve noticed that she doesn’t yet associate the sound of my voice with the fact that I’m nearby and will pick her up in a moment. i remember the girls used to get quiet and calm if they could hear me, but they were quite a bit older. she hasn’t learned that just hearing me means that shes still safe. this is what i mean when i said that we should think of them almost like they are a different species. they are so un-human when they are this new.
when thalia finds something to stare at intently, her eyes get wide and she makes her mouth tiny and small. i have no idea why she does this, but while shes really focused on something interesting, like the shadows of the ivy compared the the brightness of the sky, or a persons face, or a cat, she puckers up her lips really small. its endearing, if a little bit mysterious.
bastard squirrel almost chewed his way into the apartment. he can get his nose through the hole he made now. he absolutely cannot be deterred. all the cats have tried to scare him off and he just yells at them and chatters and threatens them with angry, bluff charges at the window. we have taken to stabbing at him with a butter knife through the hole when he comes back. jim found some chicken wire in the garage and folded it up a few times with the sharp ends pointing out and attached it to the outsdie of the window, then thickly duct taped over the hole in the plastic screen that bastard squirrel has already made. hopefully the sharp bits of chicken wire and the physical barrier or the overlapped wire will stop him. when winter comes we’ll have to think of a new plan to actually repair the damage. we have been discussing if all squirrels are this awful and crazy, or maybe this one is particularly insane. the look in his eye tells me that theres not ever been a calm thought going on in his head. everything in his mind is racing and wild and impulsive and possibly a bit demented.