A good, full weekend.
Went to the market sat morning . its stupidly, intolerably hot. Everybody is sweaty and Thalia is pink, damp and uncomfortable. The heat makes her thirsty, which makes me dehydrated. I have to consciously remember that even though she’s outside me, I am still her only food source and I need to drink a lot of water so she can drink a lot of milk.
Got a bunch of things, missed out on the first peaches but found black raspberries instead. Jim got chantrelles – I think they are my favorite mushroom. We sat in the shade on the grass for the girls to eat – all the girls. Thalia nursed and the other two polished off a basket of blueberries and one yellow plum each. I wanted to go to the fabric store in the afternoon, but Thalia and I had a great sweaty, milky nap together instead. I needed a shower after sweaty milky nap. The black raspberries were not going to last long so I made them into inky purple scones.
Around 4 some friends started to show up, Brian, Ben and kate and baby Millie, Gordon and jess. Played games, got indian food. By 8 i was really tired, despite my nap. After people left jim put the big girls to bed and I tried to get the little one settled. It was too hot – her skin was so warm I actually checked to see if she had a fever. She couldn’t stay asleep and would nurse for long stretches of time, doze off, then wake up and cry about the fact that she woke up. I took all her clothes off and we went and sat directly in front of the AC and nursed there. i swear i nearly fell asleep sitting up. the exhaustion of a new baby is unlike anything else. usually i am okay during the day but around early evening i start to crash.
Once her body cooled down she was able to sleep. i took her back to bed, desperately hoping that she would stay asleep and i could have two hours of sleep before she woke up again. she was fine.
yesterday was also full. i took thalia downtown to a mom-to-mom cloth diaper sale. i made one womans day by buying out all her newborn diapers. we now have enough cloth that i wont run out in one day. hung around there for a while, chatting with other moms, then moved on.
went to the fabric store. quick in and out, i was home quickly. jim decided to take the girls to the zoo for a couple hours. thalia had one of those rare times where i could put her down to nap and she actually stayed asleep. generally her eyes pop open and she looks very worried and then starts calling and calling for someone to pick her up again. this time, i was able to mix up the henna that i need to mail, pull down the sewing machine and get started. i nearly finished before she woke up and started calling and calling. you have about 10 seconds to respond before the little mews turn into panicked, heartbreaking cries.
spent the rest of the afternoon in bed with her. she nursed and napped and nursed and napped and i watched a show about crows and how smart they are and slowly knitted and got stressed out and made lists of all the things that i really, really need to get done within the next 24 hours that i just cant do unless someone else can just hold the baby for a while.
get the damn laundry up from the basement. its clean and dry its just been down there for two days because i haven’t had 28 seconds to go fetch it
put all the other laundry away and get started on washing the dirty laundry. this cant wait that long because its poopy diapers.
finish knitting that boob. i need to rip it back halfway and fix the sizing
finish the sewing. mail the sewing.
start the next sewing.
cone up the henna, and get it bakc in the freezer! its time sensitive and needs to get done today. the lady who bought it has already emailed me politely asking why i haven’t shipped it yet.
i got the girls in bed by myself last night which is a mission and a half while holding thalia who is tired and grumpy. blaze came up with every excuse to get out of bed and two hours later she was still awake. i was seriously breaking down. thalia was nursing on and off, making my nipples burn with the constant sucking. blaze kept getting out of bed until i screamed at her. jim got home and took thalia from me, lessening my chaos. i went to bed. didn’t give any fucks that blaze was still up wandering around asking for things. yelled at her every time she came to my room. at one point it made her burst into tears and run back to her bed. good! now stay in your bed and go the fuck to sleep! i nearly cried too. i fell asleep because there was no way i couldn’t anymore. Jim must have dealt with blaze, i dont remember.
today im going to see sondra for a muffin and a hot drink and some quiet and calm. then i am going to tackle that list and really try to get it all done. jim has tutoring, so i need to work around that but hopefully he can do some baby-holding for me so i can get things accomplished.