cleaned the girls room last night and it basically did me in.
let me explain what ‘clean’ means. put away the clothes that they have tossed all over the place, either in the laundry or back in the drawer, cleaned off the dresser, picked up the toys off the floor (you dont understand how much of a marathon picking things up off the floor is) put a clean sheet on cordelias bed, put all the books away and vacuumed.
i have no energy. not one ounce. i cannot keep up with this shit right now. baby get out. i want to be able to bend over without needing to hold my breath and gasp on the way up again.
so far today:
got cordelia to school. generally this goes smoothly, today it did not.
took the recycling out, put the garbage bins away, put on the first load of laundry.
was ready for a nap. instead i made myself go clean the bathroom sink. i eyed the toilet and the tub and decided i might be back later.
re-organized the girls clothes drawers, pulled out all the clothes that no longer fit (seriously Cordelia has super long legs OUT OF NOWHERE). and made all their new summer clothes fit.
sat still to wait for the braxton-hicks to wear off
blaze was feeling helpful so she ran back and forth putting things in the laundry for me, and i convinced her to go pick up the spilled pencil crayons on the living room floor.
decided i needed a task that was simple and involved sitting down. cleaned the desk. blaze shuttled things to the recycling for me. found my little beaded tree project and decided to get it up sometime today.
i’m going to wrap up some lose end, nagging tasks on the computer. catch up with the henna heals emails, book some appointments that are overdue.
it feels like scraping the bottom of the barrel, really, to find things that i can tick off as “yes! I did a thing!” everything is super trivial. but all i can do right now is the super trivial.
Safire told me to stay quiet, not take on too much, no heavy lifting, try to coast through the last few weeks. i can’t do that. my body is MAKING me do it and i hate it.
at 35 weeks theres 35 days or less to go. countdown.