almost done the first 4. off the top of my head, i think theres nearly 20. the clean edge on the side is because it’s the edge of the page. thats right, this pattern comes in PAGES its so monstrously large. I’m pulling out the basting stitches as i go.
feeling shitty today. no explanation, just feel it. its a beautiful day outside and its not stupidly hot. the garden is all planted and i tossed in some sunflower seeds in the front for good measure. every time we go outside blaze goes to look to see if theres any sunflowers yet.
cordelia turns five in five days. this is the first year shes been absolutely thrilled by her birthday. its a bit of a shock for me personally, that shes going to be FIVE. this person that i grew in my body and pushed out through my vagina and shes going to be FIVE. shes already too excited to go to bed at night.
i’m contenting myself by growing another one, which i fully intend to push out through my vagina in a few weeks as well. five weeks until the magic number of 37 weeks. from that point, its game on, anytime, anywhere. at the most theres 8 weeks left. and then we’ll have a newborn. this is also a shock to me – a jarring thought, even though I’ve known it was coming for months.