my sicky little girl
blaze feels awful. she can’t sleep, she keeps waking up to barf. imagine waking up out of deep sleep to throw up on yourself. she is scared and cries a lot and has a low fever, so she is chilled and uncomfortable. i just want to tuck her back up inside me and take it all away.
she is exhausted. i am exhausted. jim can’t move out of bed. every time he moves, he throws up too. coco is the only one in the clear. at one point me and blaze were on our hands and knees with our heads together, throwing up on a towel on the floor together. parallel puking.that freaked her out. i bundled up the towel, put her in the bath and dumped the towel in the sink.
i can’t get sick though. coco can’t nurse the rest of us.
coco sat on the desk chair crying quietly with her body turned away from us. later i found her sitting in her bed hugging a toy. she is worried about us all.
blaze is finally sleeping on the couch. the cushion covers are already in the wash. blaze’s aim isn’t good enough to throw up in a bowl, so i spread a towel on the floor and tell her to throw up there. its a bigger surface area. she wakes up, groggily climbs off the couch to half-lay on the towel, cough up some mucous, cries, asks for water, i help her wipe her face, mouth, chest and legs (we gave up on clothes ages ago) and then she dutifully climbs back on the couch to go back to sleep. shes been throwing up about every half hour. i am just desperately hoping that her little body will purge everything it needs to, then just let her sleep.
I’m going to sleep on the couch with her tonight and we can intermittently wake up for her to throw up. hopefully Jim can get a good nights sleep and can cover for me tomorrow.
blaze stopped throwing up around 1am and her fever went down. i very thankfully moved her to her bed. i pulled the carpet out of their room just in case. I bundled up all the laundry, just barely made it to the bathroom to throw up myself, cleaned the bathroom floor, got the cats in and tucked cordelias blanket back around her snugly and then put myself to bed. jim had a really rough night. i lost count of how many times he woke up to go puke up nothing. he got up when it was barely light out because he was too uncomfortable to sleep. apparently he made a rice pudding, then went back to bed again after drinking a quart of Gatorade.
if i had a full stomach of water i would throw it up. the catch is that if i get too dehydrated i will go into pre-term labour. if your body starts to run out of resources it just says “right, enough of this,” and shoves the baby out. i thought about at what point do i go to the hospital for IV fluids, and who do i call to go with me when jim can’t move. i couldn’t sleep well because i was so dehydrated but had to pace myself drinking water. got a few hours undisturbed sleep once i slowly got myself better hydrated.
girls are much, much better this morning. blaze slept through the night and coco only got up a few times to have soupy, smelly poos. collectively we are an utter mess. i took jims lead and gave the girls gatorade this morning as well.
on the agenda for today is laying low. doing a massive amount of laundry and mopping the living room and bathroom floor and trying to get the girls to nap.
one more thing i can’t get out of my head – the girls and i both got some cuddles in with baby lucy yesterday, just hours before we all started throwing up. she is four weeks old. a stomach virus may very well put her in the hospital. please please please baby lucy, don’t get sick.