I have ignored this space for a long time now suddenly I am writing things all the damn time. The holidays plus the winter plus baby krill all together is a lot.
Blaze got into bed with me at 6. She is super cuddly in the mornings and she will spoon me. Except this time she was coughing and sneezing on the back of my neck periodically. didn’t get back to sleep after that.
The dark mornings don’t bother me like I thought they would this year. They are calm and quiet and its fine. Hooray for balanced brain chemicals. Around 10-ish, somebody rang the doorbell. I had a mild panic – the place is trashed from having friends with kids over last night, the girls are naked and I haven’t showered and am in pyjamas. I’m not ready for people to come over. Cordelia runs to the door, “its Sondra!”. That’s perfect. That’s just about the only person I am happy to see in this state. I thought, I could be topless and wearing Jim’s underwear and I’d still be happy to see Sondra and she wouldn’t even blink. She just stopped by to drop off some cookies and say hello and give the girls some hugs. Sloan was mesmerized by twiggy and kept twisting around in Sondra’s arms to see her. Sloans smiles just kill me.
When jim got up I was feeling shitty. Too many days of overcast in a row, no schedule and that feeling of not even quite being sure what day it is anymore will lead to disaster for me. Plus the fact that i spent a couple hours cleaning yesterday and it had all been undone again. At 11 I dragged myself to the grocery store and felt immediately better. Came home, Unpacked, made a snack, looked around and since nobody needed me to wipe their bums right now I went to bed. Was quite happy to find twig already there. Had a nap with the cat In the back of my neck for almost two hours. Cats seem to reach some sort of extra blissed-out level of sleep if they can sleep on/next to you.
Got up. Considered showering. Decided to go out to finish the last of the Christmas shopping, struck a deal where if I took both girls with me up and down yonge st in the wagon jim would get some work done and tidy the kitchen. Took girls out, they did a great job and didn’t fight about who was on who’s side of the wagon 98 times. We were out for 2 1/2 hours. Got everything except that cookbook. But I’m so done with Christmas shopping I think I’m going to scrap the damn cookbook and forget it. There’s enough other things. Bought the girls some food while we were out then they got themselves some applesauce when we got home. So that’s their dinner dealt with.andNow its about waiting it out until bedtime. Tomorrow we have Christmas dinner at Kristy’s and then the Christmas crazies are truly on.