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December 31, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 7:55 pm

I guess today was productive, upon reflection. We went to the bank for 10am – all of us – to do the yearly $2,500 deposit into the girls education accounts. Girls amused themselves by standing in the window and waving and grinning at everyone who walked by outside. Naturally, most people waved back.

Made back-to-back chocolate banana bread muffins and the dough for doughnuts. Then jim made vanilla muffins with coco who was offended by the chocolate ones. “When I get bigger I’m ONLY making VANILLA muffins! All the time!” Gal hates chocolate.

Did some clean up. Felt like shit. Put on a load of laundry against my will. Went to bed, read a book for a bit then had a short nap. A naked, slightly smelly (how can that be?! They both had baths yesterday!) Three year old jumped on me to ask about her missing doll at some point. Was awake after that.

My body told me I was not well. I gave it some pickles and ignored it. Made a lasagna. That took everything out of me. Felt depressed at the state of the kitchen after making a lasagna. Pulled together all my willpower to unload and half-ass re-load the dishwasher,chase the girls out of the kitchen for the 84th time so i dont step on them (seriously. Like a cat who heard you open a can of chickpeas and really thinks its tuna) turn the load of laundry over and fry the doughnuts. They are great. Body told me “you are really, really done. Right now. Drink a bucket of water and go back to bed.”

I don’t remember being this wiped out with the past two embryos. Either I’m just that much older or I wasn’t paying attention the first two times. Or I’m growing a whole litter or something. I am so thankful, so happily amazingly grateful, that I do not work full time right now. (Except for, in retrospect, owning two small children. That’s kinda a full time job.)

Once the girls are back in school and I have a couple quiet mornings back it should change. I am thinking of using those mornings for drawing, fiddle, yoga. It will prob be my last chance for a long time. I finished Sloans portrait and its just beautiful and about as perfect as I could have hoped. For me, drawing IS the same as yoga as far as the whole “quiet mind, slow breathing” goes. I intend to get in a whole lot more in the next six months. It just might be necessary for my mental well-being.

We get to spy on krill in two days time. I mean, there’s solid, reasonable And legit medical reasons to have ultrasounds, but the spying part is the best. This is probably my last pregnancy and I remind myself of that all the time – take this one slowly, love it, you’re most likely not doing this again.


recooperate December 26, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 10:43 am

i keep forgetting that i am actually sick right now – some long-lived mild cold, but it still has an impact on me. left my aunts place last night after 11 with a headache that said “go home. go to bed. its over.” girls were wild and going strong until that point.

now the post-Christmas tetris – how to fit all our new stuff into our small apartment. its going to be a slow day, and probably one where i don’t get dressed. first step is to clean the whole fucking apartment (again? how can that be?) and make room for the stuff thats in the trunk of the car right now that needs to come up.

but i am tired and worn out. need some quiet space in a hole somewhere where i don’t need to look at my kitchen. or wipe anyones bums.

instead of too many presents at Christmas, i wish we all just gave each other freezer lasagnas instead.


December 23, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 7:23 pm

I have ignored this space for a long time now suddenly I am writing things all the damn time. The holidays plus the winter plus baby krill all together is a lot.

Blaze got into bed with me at 6. She is super cuddly in the mornings and she will spoon me. Except this time she was coughing and sneezing on the back of my neck periodically. didn’t get back to sleep after that.

The dark mornings don’t bother me like I thought they would this year. They are calm and quiet and its fine. Hooray for balanced brain chemicals. Around 10-ish, somebody rang the doorbell. I had a mild panic – the place is trashed from having friends with kids over last night, the girls are naked and I haven’t showered and am in pyjamas. I’m not ready for people to come over. Cordelia runs to the door, “its Sondra!”. That’s perfect. That’s just about the only person I am happy to see in this state. I thought, I could be topless and wearing Jim’s underwear and I’d still be happy to see Sondra and she wouldn’t even blink. She just stopped by to drop off some cookies and say hello and give the girls some hugs. Sloan was mesmerized by twiggy and kept twisting around in Sondra’s arms to see her. Sloans smiles just kill me.

When jim got up I was feeling shitty. Too many days of overcast in a row, no schedule and that feeling of not even quite being sure what day it is anymore will lead to disaster for me. Plus the fact that i spent a couple hours cleaning yesterday and it had all been undone again. At 11 I dragged myself to the grocery store and felt immediately better. Came home, Unpacked, made a snack, looked around and since nobody needed me to wipe their bums right now I went to bed. Was quite happy to find twig already there. Had a nap with the cat In the back of my neck for almost two hours. Cats seem to reach some sort of extra blissed-out level of sleep if they can sleep on/next to you.

Got up. Considered showering. Decided to go out to finish the last of the Christmas shopping, struck a deal where if I took both girls with me up and down yonge st in the wagon jim would get some work done and tidy the kitchen. Took girls out, they did a great job and didn’t fight about who was on who’s side of the wagon 98 times. We were out for 2 1/2 hours. Got everything except that cookbook. But I’m so done with Christmas shopping I think I’m going to scrap the damn cookbook and forget it. There’s enough other things. Bought the girls some food while we were out then they got themselves some applesauce when we got home. So that’s their dinner dealt with.andNow its about waiting it out until bedtime. Tomorrow we have Christmas dinner at Kristy’s and then the Christmas crazies are truly on.


December 21, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 5:55 pm

Had a slow morning. Jim took girls out early afternoon to get my brothers gifts and then went to bulk barn to get piles of chocolates. We then stuffed 4 quart jars with mixed nuts, caramels, chocolates, etc in pretty layers. With a couple ribbons they will make great small gifts – two for my dad, one for Deanne and one for jenn and graham. Might make one for Jane and Dave too.

Dropped in at Jane’s place next door, invited them to come over tomorrow and toss their kids in with ours for pizza and a Christmas movie. Tidied up the kitchen, put away the girls new toys and then finished that pirate ship for Rory. Turned out very well even if I don’t care for it very much. I wrapped the girls presents and made a snack for myself. So not a whole lot of stuff, but enough that I am more or less content with that. Starting to shut down for the evening right now.


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Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 10:12 am

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December 19, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 10:26 am

i moved spider back to window. when i got up this morning he moved himself back to the front of the computer screen. HOW DOES HE KNOW?


headache December 18, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 4:35 pm

i am driven by food, like a Labrador puppy. i MUST eat every three hours or so. that new jar of pickles isn’t going to make it another week. this baby wants salt. popcorn, pickles, chips, fries. i still very much hate orange vegetables. I believe carrots has joined that list as well. and i will develop an unshakeable, unfixable headache if i don’t keep myself basically drowning in water at all times. you have no idea how much water. today, apparently, i did not keep up on my water. not sure what baby krill is doing with all that water. mixing it with all the salt it keeps asking for i guess.

took coco to school, mucked around at home for a bit, then the three of us not in kindergaten went to Ikea. dropped in at BRCD on the way, filled out the forms for our next level of ASL class. skipped through ikeas sections we didnt need, got some christmas shopping done. thats my mom, barb and kristy finished. a little bit left for my dad, jims dad, bob, and something for deanne and rory. got christmas lights for the window and some wire baskets for the girls closet. Since we used the self check out, i believe we accidentally stole the Christmas lights. i think they got missed in the self-scanning, where both me and Jim were trying to scan things together while not re-scanning what the other one already scanned. not that i care at all. checked out the bunk bed options. when baby krill gets here it’ll be in bed with us for a few months so the girls don’t need to move to a bunk bed yet, but we are scoping them out. Spent a long time with blaze patting all the beautiful cowskin rugs.

got home, started on the picture my brother wants me to make for him. he asked for “something cool like a tiger/shark/pirate ship.” i looked for black and white photos of old pirate ships because I sure as hell arent taking on a fully-fledged painting right now. pencil drawing only. it’s going to pull double-duty – Jim’s going to use it in his game as well.  the image is not inspiring and i don’t give a shit about a pirate ship, i just hope that its ‘cool’ enough. worked on that for about an hour then gave up due to headache and the fact that I’m getting tired now. winding down for the evening starts at about 3pm.

we have had a friend spider in the window next to the computer for months. he’s reasonable big for a house spider, and quite pretty. dark brown with golden yellow spots and banding on his legs. i watched it catch a fruit fly once. last night Twig jumped up and knocked it down and tried to eat it. jim saved friend spider but his web was destroyed. friend spider went into hiding for the rest of the day, but overnight built a new web, connecting the top of the computer screen to the stack of paper that we rifle through multiple times a day. bad choice, friend spider. i dislodged that web as well, hoping he would find a better place. right now he’s knitting something together directly in front of the computer screen. he’s zip lining straight down as i type this. thats not much better, or safer. I may move him back to his window and hope he stays put. and that no cat tries to eat him again.

Jim is roasting a small-ish chicken from the Mennonites with some potatoes (NOT squash, which is what he originally wanted to do. fuck squash.) with rice and some complicated sauce thing thats he’s excited about. it’s going to be great. my plan for the evening is to sit around and watch tv shows with the girls and nurse my headache and wait for my delicious dinner to show up.

UPDATE: chased out the headache by drinking enough water to fill the fish tank. Had issues with Cordelia over her eating her dinner. Many tears and much snot was involved. She rejected all of it and settled for a banana instead. Blaze meanwhile ploughed through a full plate. Jim settled in to get some work done, I got the girls to help me pull some coats/bags of clothes/boxes of yarn out of their closet, assemble the new shelving rack of baskets for toys and tuck it in the new closet space. Then me and girls wrapped presents for almost an hour. It was slow. Cordelia wrote all the name tags which is super cute.


Protected: December 15, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 12:44 am

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December 11, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 2:53 pm

I’m so tired these days. With no focus but lots of self-shaming because I just can’t get enough done in a day to be happy. Yesterday I had an accidental nap. I was supposed to be watching/entertaining the girls so jim could do his marking. Didn’t happen. Luckily the marking still did.

My mom called me this morning because I had told her how rough its been with blaze recently and I cried on the phone to her for a bit.

9 weeks, my belly is just starting to pop the smallest bit. Its really only noticeable to me. Krill is about the size of a grape and still deep in my pelvis. My jeans are a bit too tight. I am getting random pinchy shooting pains in my cervix. Never had those before this early, must be what happens with an already experienced cervix that’s a bit more stretched to start with.

Barb dropped by to hang out with the girls yesterday and asked if we had an ultrasound yet or if the baby had a name. Why hurry this baby along? Want to sign it up for college too? Just let it be grape-sized and deep inside me for a bit first.


December 8, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 5:24 pm

Been busy today, feels good.

Got girls to school. I took coco jim took blaze. Watched a show while I folded all the laundry, put on more laundry to wash. Wrote a First birthday card for one of my clients babies from last year and mailed it on the way to teaching. Today is the last week of the video game program. Jim thought I was picking up blaze and realized too late that I was in fact working (dude, its the same EVERY MONDAY) so he was late to pick her up. In the parking lot Randall pointed out my tire was “a bit flat there.” Which is a nice way to say “very flat”. Dropped in to a gas station and pumped it up.

Dropped off DVDs at library and went in quickly to pick some new books. I adore the library. The idea that I could read whatever I wanted any time at all, that anything I want to access is right there is a great privilege. I can pick up books on ANYTHING that takes my fancy that day. I took out a midwifery textbook and a pile of books on spinning.

Drove quickly to grocery store, got that rosemary Christmas tree, Jim’s seasonal absolute favorite icecream , bread and dates that were on sale. Came home and jim left for work. Put on more laundry.

Somebody dropped by to pick something up, made lunch for me and blaze, dealt with some emails and scheduled a meeting with a new client who is 15 and due in march. (Yikes. This looks like a complicated mess of a case. Girl seems to have dropped out of school and mom isn’t all that involved) scheduled a photoshoot that the girls are modeling in for a photographer friend of a friend. Scheduled my postpartum hours with baby Ethan for Wednesday.

Picked up cCordelia from school. Got the girls settled with a snack and a show. Now I’m starting to feel sick (thanks ,little krill) and went to bed with a book to have a break. Tynan supposed to be calling soon to do a mock interview to practice for her first solo client meeting tomorrow.