I guess today was productive, upon reflection. We went to the bank for 10am – all of us – to do the yearly $2,500 deposit into the girls education accounts. Girls amused themselves by standing in the window and waving and grinning at everyone who walked by outside. Naturally, most people waved back.
Made back-to-back chocolate banana bread muffins and the dough for doughnuts. Then jim made vanilla muffins with coco who was offended by the chocolate ones. “When I get bigger I’m ONLY making VANILLA muffins! All the time!” Gal hates chocolate.
Did some clean up. Felt like shit. Put on a load of laundry against my will. Went to bed, read a book for a bit then had a short nap. A naked, slightly smelly (how can that be?! They both had baths yesterday!) Three year old jumped on me to ask about her missing doll at some point. Was awake after that.
My body told me I was not well. I gave it some pickles and ignored it. Made a lasagna. That took everything out of me. Felt depressed at the state of the kitchen after making a lasagna. Pulled together all my willpower to unload and half-ass re-load the dishwasher,chase the girls out of the kitchen for the 84th time so i dont step on them (seriously. Like a cat who heard you open a can of chickpeas and really thinks its tuna) turn the load of laundry over and fry the doughnuts. They are great. Body told me “you are really, really done. Right now. Drink a bucket of water and go back to bed.”
I don’t remember being this wiped out with the past two embryos. Either I’m just that much older or I wasn’t paying attention the first two times. Or I’m growing a whole litter or something. I am so thankful, so happily amazingly grateful, that I do not work full time right now. (Except for, in retrospect, owning two small children. That’s kinda a full time job.)
Once the girls are back in school and I have a couple quiet mornings back it should change. I am thinking of using those mornings for drawing, fiddle, yoga. It will prob be my last chance for a long time. I finished Sloans portrait and its just beautiful and about as perfect as I could have hoped. For me, drawing IS the same as yoga as far as the whole “quiet mind, slow breathing” goes. I intend to get in a whole lot more in the next six months. It just might be necessary for my mental well-being.
We get to spy on krill in two days time. I mean, there’s solid, reasonable And legit medical reasons to have ultrasounds, but the spying part is the best. This is probably my last pregnancy and I remind myself of that all the time – take this one slowly, love it, you’re most likely not doing this again.