Had a productive day for the most part. Productivity is greatly hampered by having a three year old at home though. I made a smoothie to ease my tummy into the idea of eating actual food today 9i’m not so great with food right now…..) folded the laundry, put most of it away, washed two more loads. Jim whipped through the kitchen and mostly cleaned it up then made omelets. I walked to the post office and mailed off the 4 knitted breasts, the placenta and the uterus. I taught my lunchtime class, where randall was cute and awkward asking me about this pregnancy but managing to not use the word ‘pregnant’. I guess that word is just too strange to him. He literally knows nothing about pregnancy. He is curious and also excited, but has no idea how to ask his questions.
When I came home, I dealt with some henna heals emails, dealt with some of my own emails, made a batch of cornbread muffins, made lunch for myself, and then me and blaze went to pick up cordelia from school. We played outside for a bit. Theres a lopsided snowman outside the front window. He has slightly rotten brussel sprouts for eyes. I made the girls a snack, considered making dinner but decided against it, the girls ran off to play together by themselves which was great becasue i started t feel sick. (it sets in slowly, like a sunset. you dont really notice it at first). and I slowed down and started to wind down for the evening, noodling around. I tried on the clothes that marija gave me. Picked out the stuff I wanted, packed the rest up to pass on to the next person. Jim came home, put together a quick dinner for himself and was out again. Girls are winding down eating their dinner watching ponies.
I move through these days in bursts of activity. Then the sickness comes on, and I slow right down. I eat at random times – I eat when I can. thursday I couldn’t eat oranges. Friday I ate three oranges but could not eat cheddar cheese. It’s totally random. i got protective over a bag of chips and got angry when Jim wanted to share them with me.
i don’t even like chips.
Why the third one is different:
– I’m not lost in the romance of a baby. I KNOW babies. I am pro at this now. I am not fooling myself as to what it will be like. It will be chaotic and possibly hellish at times. i will hate the baby some days. i will hate Jim some days. i will cry on the bathroom floor a few times.
– I haven’t bothered to look up what foods im not supposed to eat. Alcohol, okay yes. But soft cheeses? get real. You think Italian woman stop eating soft cheese? I doubt it. I’m gonna eat brie k thanks. Raw fish? You bet.
– I forget I’m pregnant most of the time. first baby; its all you can think about, all the time. third: I’m too busy with the other two to remember. unless I’m feeling barfy, then I remember.
-I sometimes take a multivitamin. For a while I just ate one of the girls multivitamins every day. Now I have my very own preggie vitamins. They are pink. I remember to take one most days.
-kristy asked us if we had any names picked out. Names? It’s not even a person yet, it’s a squishy ball. Who names a squishy ball? We’ll name it sometime, I guess, possibly before it comes out. I was driving the other say and saw a car called sequoia. hmm, that would be a pretty name, possibly a little bit too hippy, but possible. then it occurred to me that names dont actually matter that much. the right name will fall into our laps like it has twice before.
(For the record, I would like to make it known that kristy said “oh you got the IUD out in august! That’s right after I told you that you should get pregnant like me! did you want to be pregnancy buddies? That’s so cute!” not everything is about you all the time. I took the IUD out in august because we wanted a baby born in late summer, after my teaching job is over and during a time where Jim has less work and right before the girls both go to school full time. I did not conceive a child like people impulse buy chocolate bars just because I wanted to ‘be like you’.
-I don’t give a fuck who knows. Tell whoever you want! Jims mom said “okay, well I guess we aren’t telling anyone for a while yet?” I said “what? Why?” theres no reason for most people to know, its not particularly special to anyone else (personal isn’t the same as important) but at the same time theres no reason for people to NOT know either.
-i want a girl. i cant imagine having a boy after having these two girls fill my life already. a trio of girls seems perfect.