I can’t shake this bad mood. Saw a lot of family yesterday, was busy, had a good weekend so I should be fine. Maybe its just chemical and there’s no reason for it.
Went to market on saturday, then home so jim could go tutor, then we went downtown to see an old friend of jims who lives in the states now. The girls were difficult in the pub, small space, getting on top of eachother and picking fights. Once the food showed up they were fine. Jim dropped me off at the yarn store so I could buy two bags of fluff that match the colors of the rovinng that just came in from etsy. He drove home to get the cats in and feed them and I walked down Spadina almost all the way to lakeshore and he picked me up on the way to the highway. We went to my moms. Spent the evening there, my brother entertaining the girls by wrestling and giving them rides on his back and being a good sport when they decided that a fun game would be to body slam him.
Sunday, I got up at 7 with the girls and my mom came down shortly after. We sat at the kitchen table talking and trimming Brussels sprouts while the pie pumpkin roasted. Jim got up a little after 9, we made the potato/parsnip/sunchoke roast together and the pies. once Rory and Deanne were up, jim and the girls and I and Rory and Deanne went to Andrews scenic acres. We were planning to pick apples but seems like apple season is over so the girls chose a small pumpkin each instead. We filled the trunk with winter squash as well for $14. We visited the goats and sheep and assorted farm birds. Cordelia discovered that goats love dandelion greens. I was pleased that I could identify the two ewes as Jacobs sheep. I know the kinds of sheep that you can knit with, and Jacobs are such pretty, medium-sized sheep. They are fun for spinning because their fleece comes with blotches of color on it. Very few sheep breeds have multicolored fleeces. Jacobs are classified as a “rare” breed, but I think its like black squirrels are rare. There’s not a lot of them but in the areas that they live they are in no danger of dyingvout. Especially those in children’s petting zoos, where one small blonde child leads a wave Consisting of every other child at the farm in a movement to uproot all the dandelions.
There were some raddits in hutches. One was a mama with two kits, and every time she stood still long enough (to eat a dandelion leaf, actually) her babies got up under her to nurse and she kicked them off. Must be weaning time.
So we had thanksgiving dinner. The pie didn’t bake properly but it was just fine anyway. There was an argument in the kitchen about whether the turkey was done, and I said it was and my dad said it wasn’t and jim knew it was but is smart enough to not get involved, and my dad was being an ass to me until my aunt stepped in and proclaimed it just perfect and its done and let’s just eat it. I said “how come they’ll listen to you but not me when we are saying exactly the same thing?” My dad loves to overcook meat. He just really loves dry, dehydrated meat so he can complain later about how dry it was. I don’t understand it, he was able to cook a turkeys BEFORE he bought the piece of shit “my job is to ruin your meat” meat thermometer. But apparently he’s forgotten now, what a cooked just right turkey actually LOOKS like without getting a government-mandated internal Temperatre on it. The government is wrong, btw.
The girls were exhausted by the end of the evening and jim was game to stay another night but I was ready to go home and have some space. I was tired of my family teasing my kids when they were clearly not willing to play anymore. Blaze hit the wall of exhaustion and just could not handle anything anymore, and without meaning it somebody was pretty rude to her about it. So we took a cue from the littles and packed up and went home.
This morning its overcast and its not gotten better. Got up around 9. Been a bit sad all day, for no reason. Jim took the girls to the ravine to see the dog park and throw sticks in the creek and go for a long walk on the trails and they are getting ice cream on the way home. I am not the least bit interested. I am taking it slow here, running the dishwasher, put away laundry, put on more laundry to wash, cleaned out the litter boxes, watched TV, caught up on henna heals crown referral emails. I really think its the weather. I am unhappy despite having the whole afternoon to do whatever I want. I could knit, spin, bake, clean, not clean, walk somewhere, clean out a closet, nap, draw, sew, sondra even invited me over to hang out with her. I dont want any of it. I feel trapped here, but its not HERE, I could feel it anywhere today. Jim said maybe we should have stayed at my moms another night but I wouldn’t have been happy there either.