sometimes i’m a bit suspicious about how the universe works.
so i spent some time being stressed-the-fuck-out over the summer, becasue I had no idea where life was going – as in, were we moving to nova scotia? would jim be able to find work? would I have to quit this doula gig and find some soul-destroying full time job that sent me back on SSRIs again?
in my doula world, sondra had a baby and we both kind of ‘checked out’ of doula work for a while. it went quiet. i didn’t write anything. the best we did was post shit to the facebook page once in a while. and not even quality shit either.
then jim got some jobs. in fact he got a lot of jobs. humber wants him, ryerseon is interested, seneca… then after school tutoring in private high schools. his schedule is filling up. looks like i wont be teaching much this year with green acres, lunchtime and after shool programs. my work time is being cut down because Jim gets paid more than me so he should work, not me. plus, its not worth it yet to pay for childcare. i could make $25 for teaching a class and then pay childcare $25 for watching my kids so i could go teach that class. not cool. but we are very happy that his schedule is filling up.
AND SO IS MINE, thank you very much. got a momma due on sept 22, then got an email recently from a mom who is due in Jan. then got booked on the spot last night by another mama for Oct 11. then got an email today from a mama due oct 16th. hmm – those two are pretty close together, but I’m going to run with it anyway. i asked other doulas and they all said yes, do it. it’ll be fine, just have a good backup. the other day someone posted ‘lets set the intention for one thing we want right now” on a doula FB page. it was cute. i dont believe in any of that fluff, but i chimed in, “i want clients”. AND NOW THEY ARE COMING OUT OF THE WOODWORK. you could say anytihng you wanted about this – you could say its becasue i ‘set the intention’, or even ‘i cut off my dreads’ or whatever you wanted. sometimes its hard to not believe that its not just coincidence.
but we have a good website. its modern (its bright orange, for christsake,) and its not called something like “red tent mother moon goddess gaia doula cervices” which just about everyone is called. i don’t have a vagina as my logo. (seriously….. i know we all love vaginas but some clients get freaked out if they see one as your logo) and i have put a lot of work into networking with other doulas. one of my clients i got as a referral from another doula in mississauga who i dont particuarly jive with but she has taken a real liking to me, so she gives me her overflow clients.
i went to a fantastic workshop. the other doula workshops i have been to, especially the ones with drum circles and salt bowls where we do art to reach our inner red tent mother moon earth goddesses and steal deities from Hinduism without knowing anything about them first and theres tarot cards available….. sheesh. okay i never want to do a workshop like that again. tell me, please, how the fact that i painted a silk scarf is going to help my mama when she goes in for an emergency c-section. so i found a better workshop. i can tell becasue theres no drums. theres no painting birth art. it is on the ground, firmly based in reality, led by a woman named Beth who has supposed moms in prison, moms who are giving up their babes for adoption, moms who were on the street, transgendered parents, gay parents, 14-year old moms who have to give their babies up, moms who have had six previous children apprehended from them, and women who are delivering stillborns. its not two days long – its an intensive, ‘i am expected to actually work for it’ training, where we are closely mentored. im my first training my trainer disappeared after and never answered any of my questions. and was a bit of a bitch.
i am certified, but the organization i trained with i’m really not loving right now. and the room was full with a great group of women, some of us are doulas and some are wanting to start. one of them i have buddied up with already – i want her to be my new best friend and join us because she seems to click well with us.