i think i would like to shower today.
i cleaned the whole damn kitchen yesterday before Jim got up. then he spent about 4 hours cooking various things – food for the girls, enchiladas for us and for the freezer, then he made bread with Cordelia while Blaze napped and chocolate ice cream with the girls as well. he did a little bit of ‘clean-up-as you-go’ but by the end of it, there is no available surface anywhere and its all gone to chaos again. around 10:30, after girls went to bed, we stood together and surveyed the mess – i said leave it, its 10;30. i’ll do it all again in the morning. start over again.
we have a Babar book – remember the Babar series? colonial Africa, an English family made of elephants? well we have one Babar book and blaze is in love with it. she was THRILLED when we let her in on a secret – Babar could be on the TV, you know. well that was very exciting. the download did not go fast enough, (because only one guy was sharing…. turns out its not so popular) and so we had to explain to two sad and very tired faces that Babar would be ready tomorrow,w but right now its bed time.
these girls can go through a basket of peaches and a basket of nectarines in 48 hours. they are sticky ALL THE TIME. peach pits are left everywhere – on the windowsill (i can see one now) on the desk, under the couch, mixed in with the toys, in their beds. its like an Easter egg hunt. I have to remain aware of who has what right now, and in a few minutes i have to go interrogate them about where they put the pit. they are getting better at bringing me the pits now, but the learning curve is always a few days.
i had a dream that i was pregnant. i met with a potential client yesterday (in real life) who is 19 weeks, so in my dream, i was about that far. i could feel the baby shifting. it seems that i had no idea that i was pregnant and discovered it right then – feeling the baby moving and suddenly noticing my very rounded belly. (apparently i am not very observant, 20 weeks in is a bit late) i was teaching a class or something, and then suddenly clued in to being pregnant. something like that. i met Jim somewhere after teaching and was like “uhh… did you ever notice this? theres a baby in there” and he’s like ‘oh shit. i never noticed” absurd. i have faith that i would clue in a lot sooner than that – especially because last time, with Blaze the water bear, i clued in before a pee-stick would have showed much of anything. its all just familiar – theres certain things that only happen with a pregnancy, that you can catch the second time because you know when and only when they occur.
i also completely cleaned this floor yesterday. i didn’t mop it because i didn’t have time, but vacuumed up every last cheerio. i hate cheerios. now they are everywhere again.
i have two very different girls. we went for late-night gelato (as in, like an hour past bed time) and Cordelia wanted plan – just plain. that means vanilla. she doesn’t like chocolate. blaze takes one look in the case and yells “chocolate! i want chocolate, mama!” so we all picked our ice cream and got a table. one girl on each side, giggling and eating their ice cream – one vanilla, one chocolate. it was a nice moment to remind me that hey are two very different people who still need me in different ways. one vanilla girl and one chocolate girl.
i put on Babar. blaze is sitting and watching intently. Babar on TV! amazing!