Last night the first storm of the year rolled in.
We tried to take the girls outside on the deck to watch the rain and lightning. cordelia waltzed right out there with jim, naked, as always, to the cool wind. Blaze looked like she was going too, then the sky lit up and she balked. jim was outside with cordelia and blaze sat on my lap behind the screen door and held my hands and we watched from inside. every time the sky lit up blaze told me that she was scared. it was a perfect show of their two different temperaments. blaze likes to cautiously watch from the side for a while. cordelia is faster to jump in, especially if theres someone she knows and trusts there with her.
their personalities are complicated. blaze, though shes bold to try new foods and is confident in her self, shes cautious with new situations. she feels things more, and for longer – her emotions seem to be more fierce and she keeps them with her for a long time. cordelia gets over things pretty quickly, unless shes in a grumpy mood. Blaze has started to bite – the other day both girls were in the bath and cordelia snatched something from her, and blaze screamed and probably tried to take it back. cordelia wins these battles. but blaze has a new coping technique for her frustration – she used to just emit a ear-piercing squeal, now she has added to that biting. i heard Cordelia yelling “ow ow blazey! no i don’t like that!” and came to see blaze chewing on her shoulder. cordelia weathered it well. i pulled blaze off of her and cordelia was scared of being touched, nobody has ever bitten her before. blaze fell into my arms and sobbed. i spoke to cordelia about how she did a very good job callnig for help and using her words instead of hitting blaze, and that blaze is angry and that she shouldn’t bite her. then i held blazes red face in my hands and talked ot her aobut how its not okay to bite. she cried nad cried.
now we have a plan in place to deal with the biting – blaze will bite anything in front of her when shes reached her threshold. cordelia, at a little bit younger than blaze is now, used to fall to the floor and bang her head. blaze has, in the past few days, bitten her sister, bitten me, bitten the back of a chair, bitten her own hands (that one didn’t work out so well for her – she was genuinely surprised by that one) and bitten a few toys. now we give her a teether and we call it her ‘special biting toy’. shes gonna bite, its the age, its how shes going to deal with her feelings until she has all her words in place, so at this point its about redirecting her needs to something that’s not going to be damaged by it. sweet girl, its tough sometimes to cope. especially when you can’t voice your feelings like you would like.
in fact, she just, two seconds ago, bit a rolling pin.
my friend had to put her dog down today. it was a long, slow battle to make her as comfortable as possible, and prolong their time with her as long as was fair. I am thinking of her whole family. I have never lost a dog but I have lost two cats, and a handful of smaller animals who don’t stay with you as long as cats and dogs do. A hole now, where a warm curly, flax-coloured dog was. Blaze would share her teether, if it would help.
oatcakes (aka the reason blaze was carrying around a rolling pin)
- 5 cups oatmeal
- 1 cup flour
- 1/2-1 cup brown sugar
- 1 tsp. salt
- 1/2 tsp. baking soda
- 1/2-1 cup lard or butter
stir dry ingredients together to mix, then add butter. crumble. add 1/2 – 1 cup of water or enough to make it all come together in one ball. roll it out on a tray, cut it with a knife into squares so you can snap it into pieces once its cooked. 325 until golden brown.