Protected: August 27, 2012
henna transfer sheets
henna silk scarves
first same-sex buddhist marriage in asia August 16, 2012
Protected: August 13, 2012
clear, igloo-shaped tents
very fun art
everybody seems to have decided that blaze will be weaned at her birthday. my mom and jims mom, among others, keep telling me, “only one month left!” – ‘only a few weeks now!” her birthday is a week from now. shes nursing three times a night and maybe about 4-6 times during the day. i dont think this will all magically cut off in seven days.
i weaned Cordelia at a year because she was nursing once a day, first thing in the morning, and it was largely me that initiated this. she had been nursing once a day for a month by then. she had started weaning around 6 months, when my milk changed because i was pregnant again. she stopped nursing at night by 10 months. people seem to think that blaze should be on the same trajectory course or that i should enforce this ’12 months, then cold turkey’ rule on her too.
i haven’t really said anything to these two mothers who keep pushing me for a weaning date, since they have already decided. if i say ‘i dont know” its okay, because they tell me when. blaze will wean at a year. its clear and obvious thats the way to do it. in my moms mind, this horror of weight loss will stop and i wont be living on the brink of death anymore. actually, my weight seems to have plateaued and is starting to balance and steady at 115, and now seems to climbing back up slowly. 118.
i wont be weaning blaze at a year, because shes just not ready yet. shes not the same as Cordelia – yes, i do treat my children differently because they are different. there’s this expectation that you will treat your children all the same way, each and every one of them, because that’s the fair thing to do. i got news for you – they don’t make them with cookie cutters. nursing, for blaze, is a safe place to land. when shes scared or stressed she wants to nurse. shes scared or stressed when we go to new places, meet new strange people, or when shes really tired and Cordelia keeps stealing her toys and she just cant deal with the frustration. Cordelia wasn’t like that.
yes its true that i am tired of blaze nursing and using my body. i’m tired of having to lift my shirt and briefly flash my breasts around in public places whenever blaze wants them, i’m tired of her selfishness over my body. im tired of smelling like milk, i’m tired of leaking milk, i’m tired of needing to sleep in a bra, i’m tired of the oxycontin flush that comes with rare intimate moments bringing on a letdown, i’m tried of not being able to go out somewhere without blaze for more than a couple hours. im tired of this slow undoing. im tired of getting dressed and always needing to be thinking “now, what i can i nurse in?” but as much as i dont like it, the long-term benefits she gets from it are more important.
as for the dairy – i have gone nearly 10 months without it, i can keep it up a bit longer. theres whipped cream at the end of this for me.
sooo the avocado thing is nice, if you dont put in the peanut butter.
heres some interesting things,
bike highways in denmark (yay go denmark!)
why trees are awesome and important
gotta try this.
i would do it RIGHT NOW only there’s no avocados around right now. chocolate and avocado are some of my biggest cravings recently – think my body wants some fat? have you seen my bony knees? i have scary concave hollows where there shouldn’t be any.
which leads to this one, of course.
also, i feel like this would be one of those ‘get a toddler to eat something healthy when they’re not paying attention’ sort of things.