please let us move.
i want my litlte farmhouse on a small plot of land. i want it now.
i have to remember that this wont cure anything though, i will still be at home with my babies. i dont know why i think it would be any different if we were anywhere else, cause i would still be inside my own head just as before.
at the CSA yesterday a woman came in finally – somebody else has been picking up for her for the past three weeks. emma said “thats our actress! celebrity alert!’ and here comes a beautiful woman in a white blouse and long peasant-style black skirt with a leather cord. shes so thrilled by the vegetables, exclaims how beautiful they are with her hands held wide, especially the peas. she spends a long time going over the jams, holding them up to the light to see their jewel-tones. so damn happy to be on the planet. when she left, i said to shannon, “that’s the kind of person i want to be when i grow up”.
in the meantime, babies are whining, i always need to do more dishes, sweep the floor again, console Cordelia over something that i cant even get motivated to care about, find out where she hid her diaper and clean up the pee off the floor, stop blaze from eating the crayons that she didn’t finish eating yesterday and tear jims mp3 player our of her pudgy hands before she ruins that one too (its a replacement for the first one she slobbered beyond repair). and try to remember, somewhere in there today, to please feed myself or else i will go live in my head for too long.