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May 30, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 8:54 am

plants that go on you necklace, or on your bike, or on your….. wherever!



this one will be fun when the girls are like four and five or so.



and just pretty neat



May 29, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 9:39 pm

we have reached that point in the summer where its hotter upstairs than it is outside. i dont think its even technically summer yet.

i basically spent the entire day with the henna heals team, and only a very short amount of time at home. jim was the stay-at-home dad today, while i went outside (i even wore a clean t-shirt!) and did wholesome, fulfilling things. i know that raising children is supposed to be wholesome and fulfilling as well, but sometimes its not, so its nice to not have to do it even though what i am doing instead is kinda supposed to be ‘work’ too. henna heals is going places, and pretty damn fast, too.

my doula training workshop was also so very lovely. its so great to be back in a school scenario, taking notes and learning and even sitting in hard plastic chairs. making friends with the other women there. i forgot how wholesome and fulfilling it is to just learn things that you are interested in – FINALLY i feel like i am doing something again.

cordelia told us her bum was sore (no surprise, bad rash right now) and told us that she wanted to tkae her diaper off. when i left for yoga she was playing outside in the back garden in a t-shirt, her tiny chapped airing out, drawing wihth chalk on our ‘worlds shortest and narrowest walkway’


May 28, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 4:21 pm

great story




Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 3:47 pm

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May 25, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 1:38 pm

i was drunk once in my first year. i’ve been tipsy a few times, but this time, i remember not being able to dial andrews cell phone number. i sat at the phone for a long time and couldnt remember which buttons to press. then it took me about 10 minutes to remember that i was supposed to dial 416 first. it was a strange experience, very unsettling, and i do not understand why one would want to repeat it.

today i feel like that. i was trying to make a cake with cordelia for her birthday party, and i had to keep checking the recipe every three minutes cause i kept forgetting what i was doing. i fucked it up even despite all those references and we now have a cake that taste so strongly of olive oil that i am not going to serve it to people. its not nasty, and we will eat it at home, but its not chocolate cake. i have a bowl for the wet ingredients and a bowl for the dry, and when i started on the second cake i couldn’t even remember which bowl to put the sugar in.

jim took over briefly and i backed away from the table, and having nothing better to do, folded up. i sat on the floor and put my head down. i feel like i am moving through polyester batting. insomnia, Jim suggested. cant fall asleep, cant go back to sleep, anxiety taking this opportunity to snicker and whisper from the background. theres weird things going on in my brain now too – strange neurological hiccups. yesterday i was absolutely sure i could hear a dial tone and a woman’s voice as if someone was on the phone a long way off. i think i see ants on the floor, strange mis-firings of blackĀ  on my eyeballs.


May 24, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 6:15 pm

today is painful. theres too much going on in the emotional background.

in the end, we’ve learned that in the future, the girls birthdays are days that we spend together with them, not with anyone else vying to get in on it too. its so hard to get individual quality time with them, especially for me to connect with Cordelia and jim to connect with blaze, just because of how much of my time blaze needs from me.

i’ve hardly seen her today, but shes going to jims dads place to hang out with him for the evening. i dont even get to see her on her own birthday, he does.

it shouldnt be a big deal, but it is for me. its cause im still so angry with him, so this is just like another slap in the face.

the whole family has to wait to spend birthday time with her, including me, but he gets his birthday time in with her today.

he wanted to order pizza hut pizza for her. we said ‘fuck that, get some standards please.’ cordelia was asking us for a juice box the other day. guess where she knows the phrase ‘juice box’ from? after he promised not to.


Protected: bustin’ out her moves May 22, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 2:37 pm

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