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May 30, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 8:54 am

plants that go on you necklace, or on your bike, or on your….. wherever!



this one will be fun when the girls are like four and five or so.



and just pretty neat



May 29, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 9:39 pm

we have reached that point in the summer where its hotter upstairs than it is outside. i dont think its even technically summer yet.

i basically spent the entire day with the henna heals team, and only a very short amount of time at home. jim was the stay-at-home dad today, while i went outside (i even wore a clean t-shirt!) and did wholesome, fulfilling things. i know that raising children is supposed to be wholesome and fulfilling as well, but sometimes its not, so its nice to not have to do it even though what i am doing instead is kinda supposed to be ‘work’ too. henna heals is going places, and pretty damn fast, too.

my doula training workshop was also so very lovely. its so great to be back in a school scenario, taking notes and learning and even sitting in hard plastic chairs. making friends with the other women there. i forgot how wholesome and fulfilling it is to just learn things that you are interested in – FINALLY i feel like i am doing something again.

cordelia told us her bum was sore (no surprise, bad rash right now) and told us that she wanted to tkae her diaper off. when i left for yoga she was playing outside in the back garden in a t-shirt, her tiny chapped airing out, drawing wihth chalk on our ‘worlds shortest and narrowest walkway’


May 28, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 4:21 pm

great story




Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 3:47 pm

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May 25, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 1:38 pm

i was drunk once in my first year. i’ve been tipsy a few times, but this time, i remember not being able to dial andrews cell phone number. i sat at the phone for a long time and couldnt remember which buttons to press. then it took me about 10 minutes to remember that i was supposed to dial 416 first. it was a strange experience, very unsettling, and i do not understand why one would want to repeat it.

today i feel like that. i was trying to make a cake with cordelia for her birthday party, and i had to keep checking the recipe every three minutes cause i kept forgetting what i was doing. i fucked it up even despite all those references and we now have a cake that taste so strongly of olive oil that i am not going to serve it to people. its not nasty, and we will eat it at home, but its not chocolate cake. i have a bowl for the wet ingredients and a bowl for the dry, and when i started on the second cake i couldn’t even remember which bowl to put the sugar in.

jim took over briefly and i backed away from the table, and having nothing better to do, folded up. i sat on the floor and put my head down. i feel like i am moving through polyester batting. insomnia, Jim suggested. cant fall asleep, cant go back to sleep, anxiety taking this opportunity to snicker and whisper from the background. theres weird things going on in my brain now too – strange neurological hiccups. yesterday i was absolutely sure i could hear a dial tone and a woman’s voice as if someone was on the phone a long way off. i think i see ants on the floor, strange mis-firings of black  on my eyeballs.


May 24, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 6:15 pm

today is painful. theres too much going on in the emotional background.

in the end, we’ve learned that in the future, the girls birthdays are days that we spend together with them, not with anyone else vying to get in on it too. its so hard to get individual quality time with them, especially for me to connect with Cordelia and jim to connect with blaze, just because of how much of my time blaze needs from me.

i’ve hardly seen her today, but shes going to jims dads place to hang out with him for the evening. i dont even get to see her on her own birthday, he does.

it shouldnt be a big deal, but it is for me. its cause im still so angry with him, so this is just like another slap in the face.

the whole family has to wait to spend birthday time with her, including me, but he gets his birthday time in with her today.

he wanted to order pizza hut pizza for her. we said ‘fuck that, get some standards please.’ cordelia was asking us for a juice box the other day. guess where she knows the phrase ‘juice box’ from? after he promised not to.


Protected: bustin’ out her moves May 22, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 2:37 pm

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May 18, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 1:41 pm

our CSA is expanding, and im so excited to see it happening.

this season, Kawartha ecological growers CSA has banned with some buddies to bring us some new options – an egg share, a crackers, granola, cookies share, a meat share, a bread share, and a wild mushrooms share. they are in conversations with those who will allow a chocolate/coffee share and a cheese share as well. their goal is to be a one-stop shopping, ‘feed yourselves entirely’ CSA.the season is 22 weeks, so 22 boxes.

they are also changing the system slightly this year too, so that shareholders will be in charge of tracking their own credit, instead of whoever went to market that day chasing everyone with a clipboard and trying to track everyones credit themselves.

we have a small share this year, which is $660. these additional shares are additional dollars. we said yes to the bread share and the mushrooms, too. so along with our box we will get 1/2 pound of wild-foraged mushrooms each week,  as well as a loaf of bread of whatever kind the baker decided he wanted to make that week.

that makes the total cost for the CSA for the 22-week season for us $930. this feels like a lot of money. it feels like i shouldnt do it.

but the reality is, we buy a loaf of bread every week and this bread share will work out to about $4 a loaf, which is about what we are paying on average anyway. the mushrooms are considerably cheaper going through the CSA than they would be if we were to buy them outright, and its something like $8.50 a week in wild mushrooms. but i still get the sense that this is us being ridiculous with our fancy, hippie-granola food. (and we aren’t even getting the granola share). are we turning into stuck-up food snobs?

also, why is good quality, local food so expensive? why is it that so many people cannot afford to live like this, eating like we do? i guess the answer is that this is the REAL COST of food, what we are paying, and the cheaper, shitty stuff has invisible costs elsewhere. but still, why cant everyone have access to this? why does being healthy, eating healthy, have to be a privilege for the richer? that is ridiculous.

i fear that by being surrounded by this sort of food, that by paying out $930 to feed us for the summer will make me take that food for granted, take my position of ‘we can pay for this’ for granted. i never, ever want to take our food for granted or loose sight of what we have, including our money stability.

maybe it feels like a big number cause i am not familiar with how much an average household spends on groceries in the first place. a quick peek around google tells me that on average, a canadian family spends $244 per person in groceries per month. okay, so about $35 a week, each. im not going to count Cordelia in this, shes still so small and doesn’t cost us much in the food department yet. our CSA will be costing us $21 a week each, again, not counting the girls. huh. thats much better than i thought it was.

about three months ago jim got curious and wanted see how much money we spend on food and set up a spreadsheet to track our spending. and look: on average, we are spending $43 each a week on groceries.

then i got more curious. 66% of our food-money goes to the CSA or the market. that doesnt mean that 66% of our food comes from there, just that 66% of our food money goes there. as for what proportion of food comes from CSA or market i dont know, but im guessing its more than 66%. a small percentage of food we get free every week as zach throws in extras, probably totaling about $5-10 per week or so.


canadas only male midwife May 17, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 12:24 pm


hooray! i’d let him catch my babies, no problem.


May 14, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — springtwist @ 9:54 pm

story: a super nice guy and his family kind of ‘adopted’ a black stray, they named him napoleon.

then napolean got pregnant and had four kittens. that was their clue that he was a ‘she’.  so they named her josephine instead.

shes friendly-ish, but shy, but for a stray, pretty tolerant of people. they assume that she had a family at some point. while shes tolerant and reasonably people-friendly, she definitely has great anxieties about being indoors, so she lives outside and comes in to eat. they have tried on multiple occasions to trap her to get her fixed, its their goal to get her fixed but shes pretty evasive and cannot really be handled. shes outsmarted their traps. so she got pregnant again, and this year shes had seven.

they built her an awesome little ‘nest’ out of cinder blocks and plywood, which is roofed over with old green party signs (he intends to run again in 2015) and lined with straw. momma was taking a break, resting just outside her cat-house away from the kits but quickly slipped away when she saw us.

we sat on milk crates and had our laps filled with a boquet of kittens. our girls were thrilled. cordelia sat down to have a kitten on her lap and clutched it gently, laughing over and over.

i asked him what their personalities were like so far, and he said “that one there, he’s the loudest. he’s complaining all the time. they grey tabby, he’s the most adventurous, he’s the biggest and seems to be developmentally just ahead of everyone else. he’s always the first to do anything. these two here are more quiet and calm, this guy is also pretty active…” one of them, a nearly-black with classic, swirled tabby stripes climbed up jims shirt to perch on his shoulder and nose his ear. the tortie and the other black tabby sat quietly in my lap cuddled together. we had a hard time remembering that we were here to pick one, and not just to snuggle them. “you can take two, you know,” the guy encouraged us. there hasnt been much interest in these guys and he’s having a hard time finding homes so far. “i gave jim a can we please? sort of look.

we eliminated the crazy grey tabby and his whining sibling, just to start somewhere. we passed them back and fourth between our laps while blaze squealed and made wild grabs for them. and, since theres not much to go on other than intuition at this point, we said yes to the black that climbed jims shoulder.

then we also said yes to the sweet, quiet tortishell too.

these two are coming to live with us once they are grown up a bit more. i’m not sure about genders yet, but im pretty sure that the tortie is female cause they almost always are, thanks to a really neat genetic thing.