for about a month now shes been able to walk but has largely chosen not too. now she toddles all over the place – stomp stomp stomp stomp, with her arms held out at funny angles for balance. she still stumbles often, but the difference is she immediately gets up again instead of reverting back to crawling like she used to. because shes so determined to walk everywhere now, we have decided its official – we have a toddler.
and a squirmy, squirmy water bear. water bear is now big enough that she can catch her tiny feet under my ribs and push out – yes its uncomfortable. nearly 32 weeks. from this point on its just about filling in the cartilage and fattening up. i keep having practice contractions, but they are following a more reliable pattern than they were with cordelia – i used to get contractions whenever the hell they felt like showing up, but now its every time i sit down and stay still and relax for a while. they are comforting (and occasionally annoying) but not painful.
i am getting pains though – occasional pains that spread through my lower back and hip joints. theres no contractions to go with these so they are not concerning me, they are just annoying as well. they leave me achy and sore for a while but usually arent too painful, although today i had trouble standing and had to leave the kitchen to go stretch out on the couch so everything could relax. its possible that the water bear is pressing on some nerve somewhere thats causing these pains.
im noticing some differences between the water bear and what i experienced with cordelia. cordelia was also a wiggler, but i think she reacted less to stimulation – it took a lot more to get her going than it does the water bear. when there was a sudden loud noise cordelia would jump (i remember her jumping every single day when jims alarm went off in the morning) but then settle again pretty quickly. water bear has a whole break dance routine and seems more sensitive to noises. when i sing for cordelia to fall asleep, water bear wakes up and flips around all over the place. if anyone touches my stomach or if i tickle her bum or feet through my skin she reacts suddenly, and continues reacting for a long time. cordelia used to squirm out of the way and then relax again. water bear squirms out of the way but then continues with the squirming.i hate to place a label on an unborn fetus, but i do feel like this one will be more sensitive and faster to react than cordelia is. afterall, just because you moved down the birth canal five inches and left your mothers body doesnt mean you are a different person – its the same baby on the inside as who you meet on the outside.
there is a joint baby-and-wedding shower happening this weekend, we’re calling it ‘the maternity wedding shower’. it always flusters me when people get together with the purpose of celebrating something for me.
i fell and twisted my knee on friday so i am hobbling around right now and jim keeps stopping me from doing things like clean the kitchen or lift cordelia. i am feeling very useless and mostly like a burden myself, and so incredibly house-bound. should be back to normal in a few days again, but i really do not make a good sick patient and cannot stay still for this long. i keep complaining about how unhelping i am and threatening to tidy something. unlucky to have twisted my knee, sure, but so lucky to have not fell on my stomach or hit my head, or fallen while we were in europe. a fall on my stomach or, ive been told, hitting my head from a fall and my midwives would like me to report directly to labour and delivery at the hospital to check everything out.babies who are born this early do often survive, but sometimes its a close call. your lungs are not finished developing until 34 weeks, at least.
the guy who worked the front desk at our hotel in italy called cordelia a ‘piccolo piccolo’ when he was describing how big she was to the cab driver who was supposed to pick us up the next morning. a tiny-tiny. well jim and our tiny-tiny have gone out for a walk to practice those toddling legs and to pick up some birthday candles and i am supposed to stay still with my leg elevated and read while i ice my knee.