i feel like im reaching a limit here. which is a bit scary becasue i only have two exams to get through. this is not the worst of what school will be like – placement on top of classes will be super hard. if i can’t handle two exams then placement will kill me.
i have done nothing today. the thought of doing anything is daunting. there’s so much to do and i want to go sit in a hole somewhere – i am getting ‘you need to slow down right now’ signals from myself. i have to ignore this becasue! i need to study – i need to, i don’t have much time left now. i need to clean up my fucking house. i need to seriously clean it, like the walls and the baseboards and pull out the fridge and get all the shit out from under and behind the couch and whatever is behind the toilet. i do not have the time or the energy or the motivation and yet it still needs to be done.
i went to class all day yesterday. and came home to a fucking disaster. its like punishment for going to class. it falls to me because im the only one who is home to do it.